Gwaine by Louis
by Queens' Jabberwocky
Summary: This is what happens when you give me bad fan fiction, a computer, and no sleep: I write a spoof of "Legolas by Laura", but with Merlin characters. God help us all. Rated T only for the swears; kiddies be warned. Gwaine/OC; Percy/Elyan.


**Pre-Reading Author's Note:**** No, my name isn't actually Louis, nor am I a boy, nor am I an apple! This is merely a Gwapple, "Legolas by Laura" spoof. If you have not read "Legolas by Laura", or seen the motion picture by ITTMoses on YouTube, I recommend you do one or the other before reading this, because me claiming my name is Louis will make more sense, also, it will make this will seem a hell of a lot better in comparison! Enjoy this awful excuse for a serious fan fiction!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anyone but Louis because he is my apple, dammit! ^_^ ****_Merlin_**** does not belong to me. If I ****_did_**** own ****_Merlin_****, Merthur would have been cannon long ago! I do not claim any credit for "Legolas by Laura". My inspiration was written by Laura. I am Louis. Clearly. I said that before.**

GWAINE! By Louis

GWAINE! Was riding through the woods when he found an apple wrapped in cloth. So he got off his horse and went to the apple and said "Who left you here, delicious one?" and the apple just stayed inanimate and then Gwaine picked up the apple and it continued staying like it was. Gwaine said "You're name is going to be Louis." And then he tried to eat the apple. But then the apple said "HOLD THE FUCK ON! HOLY FUCK DUDE! WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK? ARE YOU TRYING TO FUCKING KILL ME, MAN? I'M JUST A MOTHERFUCKING APPLE MINDING HIS OWN GODDAMN BUSINESS AN THEN YOU COME ALONG AND BITE MY FUCKING FACE OFF! NOT COOL, DUDE! NOT FUCKING COOL!" And then Gwaine screamed like a girl and fainted. When Gwaine woke up, he got back on his horse and took the apple back to Camelot. Gwaine went to Arthur's chambers where he was having tea time with Merlin. He said "Father, Mother, I found this apple in the woods." And then Merlin got up and said "How can people just leave apples in the woods?" Then Arthur said "We are going to keep it!" And Gwaine was happy.

The next morning, Gwaine woke up and found some fucking creeper watching him sleep. "WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?" Gwaine said. The creeper said "I'm the apple, Louis. Now teach me how to ride a horse." Gwaine said "Okay, get dressed, get something to eat, and I'll teach you how to ride a horse."

Meanwhile, Percy and Elyan were riding towards Camelot and Elyan said "Percival, I didn't know Gwaine had any friends!" Then Percy said "I didn't know either."

Meanwhile at Morgana's Hovel, Morgana was planning to kidnap Louis, but not Gwaine. Then Agravaine said "I can get him for you, Morgana" and Morgana said "Yes, you can!"

Meanwhile, Gwaine and Louis were horse riding. Then, Louis said "Gwaine, who's that?" Then Gwaine looked to see Percy and Elyan. Gwaine said "That is Percival and Elyan." And then Elyan said "Gwaine!" and Gwaine said "Elyan, long time seen!" And then Elyan said "How's you?" And then Gwaine said "I am fine!" And then Percy said "Who's this?" Gwaine said "Meet Louis, I found him in the woods yesterday, but he was an apple." Louis was shy at first, but then Gwaine said "Louis, come meet Percival and Elyan." Louis said "Hi, I'm Louis." And then Elyan said "He is so cute!" And then Percy punched him in the face and said "You're mine, bitch!" Gwaine said "I think we should go back to Camelot. Would you like to stay for a night?" Then Percy and Elyan said "Yes please." Then they all had tea and went to bed.

During the night, Gwaine asked the guards to keep an eye on Louis' chambers.

Meanwhile, the bandits climbed into Louis' chambers. Then Louis woke up and screamed and then the guards went into his room and saw lots of bandits and then Gwaine ran down the hall. And then Gwaine said "Where is Louis?" And then the guards said "The bandits took him."

Meanwhile, the bandits were back at Morgana's Hovel and then Louis said "Put me down!" So they did. Then Morgana came out of the fire and said "Welcome Louis!" Louis looked at her and said "No it can't be!" And then he tried to run away, but the bandits caught him. Then, Morgana said "Put him in the cell and beat him… and also do whatever the hell you want with him, BUT DON'T KILL HIM!" Then the bandits took him to the cell and threw him in it. Then they shut the door. Louis got up and looked out the window and he was wishing Gwaine or someone would save him.

Meanwhile, back at Camelot, Gwaine was getting the knights ready to go and save Louis.

Meanwhile, Louis was sitting on the floor and then the door opened and it was some bandits. They tied Louis with some chains and then they stripped him and then they raped him and then Louis said "Go away you bastards." Then another bandit came with a whip and whipped him hard! And then the bandits, all together, beat him almost to death. And then, Morgana came in with a tube of Posion and injeted it into Louis.

A Few Hours Later...

Gwaine and the others were on their way to Morgana's Hovel to save Louis.

Meanwhile, in the cell where Louis was being kept, Louis woke up and looked at his body. There was blood and scars; he could only move his right arm. Then Louis said "I feel so cold!" And then he can't see very well.

At the front door of Morgana's Hovel, were Gwaine and the others. They said "Let Louis go!" And Morgana said "No." Then Gwaine said "Right, listen, I will climb up to the cell and get Louis and you and the others will find another way in." Then Elyan said "Alright!" Then Gwaine started to climb up.

Meanwhile, Elyan and the others ran into Morgana's Hovel. Percy said "I will go kill Morgana, and you and the others, go help Gwaine." Elyan said "Be careful!" and Percy said "I will, don't you worry about me."

Meanwhile, Gwaine got to the cell where Louis is. Gwaine said "Louis are you in there?" And then Louis said "Oh, Gwaine, you finally came." And then Gwaine said "Are you alright?" And then Louis said "No, I am not alright!" And then Gwaine said "They beat you up and raped you, also Morgana gave you the Posion." And then Louis said "How did you know that?" Then Gwaine said "When I was your age they did the same thing to me." Then Louis said "Can you get me out of here?" And then Gwaine said "Okay, stand back." Then he ran back, and ran toward the door and knocked it down. Louis said "Wow." And then Gwaine looked and saw he was covered in blood and scars and also he was naked. And then Gwaine said "Why did they do that to you and not me?" And then Agravaine and the bandits came and said "He has a power and he can destroy us all the bad guys!"

Then THE FRIGHT Began!

Gwaine got out his sword and stared killing all the bandits. Then Gwaine saw some more swords and said "Elyan is that you?" and then Elyan said "Yes, it is!" And then Gwaine and the others continued killing the bandits.

Meanwhile, Percy was having a fun time trying to kill Morgana. Percy said "I wish Lancelot and Leon were here!" And then a sword came out of nowhere and said "Someone wished us here!" Then Percy said "Lancelot the Brave, what are you doing here?" Then Lance said "We came to help you and also we killed Morgana's snake." And then Morgana said "Oh no!" And then Percy stabbed her in the heart, destroying Morgana.

Meanwhile, Gwaine and Elyan and the others were helping Louis down and Elyan took off his cloak and wrapped it around Louis.

A Few Hours Later…

Gwaine and the others are on their way to Camelot. Gwaine said "We must go to Ealdor to get Louis better!" Then Percy said "I think you are right." And then they turned around and went to Ealdor. Gwaine looked at Louis and put his hand on Louis' forehead and he was burning up! Elyan went beside Gwaines' horse and said "He is getting wose." And Gwaine said "I know!"

A Few Hours Later…

They were at Ealdor and Gwaine stayed at Louis' side every day until he woke up. And then Gwaine kissed Louis on his lips and then he put his arms around Gwaine and Gwaine said "Are you alright?" And then Louis said "Yes, I am." Gwaine said "I am so happy." And then Louis said "Do you want to be my boyfriend?" And then Gwaine said "Yes, I will be your boyfriend." And then Louis and Gwaine kissed again. Louis said "What happened to me, Gwaine?" And Gwaine said "You got kidnapped by the Morgana's Bandits, and they raped you, and also beat you almost to death, and then Morgana gave you some Posion." And then Louis said "Why can I only move one arm?" And then Gwaine said "Your left arm is broken." Then the door opened and it was Elyan and Louis said "Hello Elyan." And then Elyan said "I see you are awake." And then Louis-

**Post Reading Author's Note:**** God, wasn't that awful? I'm so sorry you had to endure my version of the second worst fan fiction ever written. The bunny was annoying me, so I wrote it. I promise not to do it again.**

**Anyhow, a more serious version of this story is actually in the works. It will feature a completely different plot line, developed characters, and basically the only thing this story will have in common with the work in progress is my OC, Louis, who, I promise, is actually developed. So keep an eye out for that! Thanks for reading!**

**-Queens' Jabberwocky **


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